Five Things Everyone Should Know About Forgiving

From a worldly perspective, people usually associate people who forgive as losers or "dormats" that people trampled on. But Professor Smedes said infact these people are winners because when they forgive, they disantangled themselves from the guilty parties. They carry on with their lives. Those who do not forgive are prisoners of their own mind. Let's learn to forgive and be free.


This article is an adaptation of Professor Lewis B. Smedes's teaching.

Forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself

If you do not forgive you give the person hurting you opportunities to hurt over and over again in your mind. This is unfair to you because you can forgive to stop him from walloping you in your mind.

Forgivers are not doormats

The perpetrator is told not to repeat the mistake again. He is forgiven, but this does not mean you agreed to his action.

Forgivers are not fools

You do not have to go back to the same relationship after you have forgiven that person. Forgivers do not have to be fools.

You don’t have to wait until he says sorry

You may have to wait forever. Meanwhile you are giving him permission to continually hurt you. Forgive and continue with your life.

Forgiving is a journey

We are not God who can forgive with a wink of the eye. Forgiving is a process, it takes time for the healing to take place. Give yourself time for full healing to take place.

Some quotes on forgiveness:

Man has two great spiritual needs. One is for forgiveness. The other is for goodness.
Billy Graham

Forgiveness is the final form of love.
Reinhold Niebuhr

Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.
George MacDonald

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again.
Saint Augustine